


rip and tear

by groupieforbucky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Drugging, Dubious Consent, Eating, F/M, Face-Fucking, Food, Forced Marriage, Kidnapping, Oral Sex, POV Third Person, Rough Oral Sex, Slight Housewife Kink, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29863272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groupieforbucky/pseuds/groupieforbucky
Summary: something either went terribly wrong or terribly right down in the water of that river
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	rip and tear

water and sweat rushed off of bucky’s body, little droplets falling onto the dirt beneath his boots that was already becoming saturated from the body atop it. wild slate eyes stared down at the man before them, a flood of memories and emotions nearly blinding behind them. no movement came from the blond, but bucky could see the subtle rise and fall of his chest, hear the faint beat of his heart. just like the good soldier he was trained to be.

finally forcing himself from the bank, the brunet started slowly through the surrounding brush, feet light and careful despite the limp he was sporting. it was eerily quiet around him. at least, until he heard a small gasp from just ahead of him on the left. panicked, his spine went rigid, and he pushed himself against the rough bark of a tree.

“oh, my… it’s just beautiful! i would love to!”

rustling forced him to peek around the trunk, catching sight of a young woman twirling herself giddily. he hadn’t heard her before now, and there’s a part of him, the part that _isn’t_ him at all, that’s furious at his carelessness. through the haze of disappointment with himself, he managed to pick up on more movement from her direction. glancing around the tree again, he came face to face with her. a flicker of something flashed behind her eyes before her mouth began to open.

without an ounce of hesitation, bucky had her pinned against the tree, metal pressed against her lips firmly as a muffled scream fell from them. he tightened his hold on her, silencing her useless cries of horror, gripping her arm with his other hand despite the pain that still shot through his shoulder. the same wild slate now bore into her own frightened irises. swallowing, he watched as she began trailing her gaze down from his face. it wandered across the bound leather of his chest, shooting up to take in his bloodied face. there was a pause where they both just stared each other down before bucky found his eyebrows cinching, his own eyes starting down her form.

a light wool coat concealed most of her attire, but it immediately caused a sharp pain to shoot through his head. almost as if the familiarity was physically clawing its way out of the mangled recesses of his mind. the collar, the buttons, the puffed sleeves… frantically looking to her legs, he found them covered in nylon, disappearing into low heels that were surely doing nothing to keep her warm in the slight chill that surrounded them.

an embarrassing squeak left the back of his throat when the arm he wasn’t pinning to her side came up so she could place a hand on his metallic wrist. it brought his focus back to her face, and he held his gaze on her for another moment, trying to collect himself.

it was completely silent around them, nothing breaking it but his ragged breathing and the sounds of birds cawing somewhere nearby. the longer he stared at her, the more she felt her face begin to grow hot under the near-freezing palm of his hand. the appendage was cold under her touch, too, even through her glove. terrifying and intriguing all at once.

“don’t scream,” he finally managed to rasp out, waiting until she nodded convincingly before he freed her lips. and just as he suspected, they were coated in a layer of waxy red, slightly smeared from the pressure of his hold. her fingers were still wrapped around his wrist, a gentle squeeze bringing his attention back to her eyes. they shimmered with something… the same thing his were burning from.

recognition. _familiarity_.

only difference being the fact that the recognition he was experiencing brought him a wave of warmth and comfort, and the one behind her gaze sent a shock of fear up his spine.

still forcing her against the tree, bucky hardened his features and barked, “you’re going to help my friend.” once again, all she offered him was a nod, body eerily lax beneath his hold. and truth be told, he wasn’t exactly sure why he was still holding her. if it was to keep her quiet, or simply to _keep_ her… bucky chose to ignore it, and instead began to lead her to the man he’d left along the bank.

to his surprise, and satisfaction, she remained silent and willful, allowing him to hold her steady when her small heels threatened to sink into the soil that grew more sodden the closer they got. pushing aside a thick bundle of branches, she finally broke her silence with a gasp, legs going stiff as she stared at the scene before them. bucky yanked on her arm until they were stood over the blond, finally dropping his hold when she fell to her knees.

her hands shook as she reached for him, splaying out along his chest so bucky could see the left one devoid of its matching glove. tied around her fourth finger was a strand of string, a little knot atop it mimicking a stone. he squinted at the sight, but didn’t pay it too much mind.

“this is… it can’t be…” her voice grew quiet, just a ghost of a whisper when she turned back to bucky. “then you’re really…” her eyes flickered over him before landing on his left arm, the red star catching the light enough to wink at her almost comically. as if she suddenly realized the situation she found herself in, she looked to the blond again. “i don’t know any first aid! he needs a doctor!”

“so get him one.”

that stopped her cold, worried eyes meeting bucky’s once more. “i’d venture to say you could use one, too…”

“no,” he bit, stepping back when she appeared as if she was going to stand.

“what do you mean, ‘no’? you’re bleeding, limping, and you… well…” she gestured animatedly to his metal arm, huffing when he made no effort to respond. “i can’t believe this! captain america, alive! oh, everyone is going to be so happy to see he’s safe… see _both of you_ are safe.”

“no!” the shout startled them both, fluttering and squawking sounding overhead as a flock of birds took off into the clear autumn afternoon. the fear that spread across her face caused him to purse his lips, diverting his gaze in shame. “go get help for him.”

“i never said i wouldn’t.” dirt crumbled off of her knees as she finally stood, making only one step toward the brunet before he fixed his eyes on her again. a warning. “but what about you?”

another standoff commenced before she sighed in defeat. sparing his silver arm one last glance, she took off back to where they had come from, feet kicking up various leaves and branches along the forest floor. when the trail she always followed came into sight, she began crying out, voice hoarse by the time she hit the streets again.

“what’s all the ruckus?” the call came from one of the vendors lining the streets for the daily market, a stern look on his face when she caught sight of him.

“please,” she panted, keeping her voice loud enough for the entire street to hear. “you must help me! there’s a man on the river bank… it’s… it’s _captain america!_ ”

in an instant, dozens of eyes were on her, most of them blown wide, others rolling in their sockets before turning away from her. desperately, her head snapped from side to side, seeking out something. _anything_.

“wait!” tires squealed and a horn sounded up between the buildings as she ran out in front of the telltale white vehicle.

“lady, are you nuts?! get outta the road before i gotta cart ya off in this!”

shaking her head frantically, she babbled out, “please! you have to… he’s… just _help me!_ please!” she stared down the men through the windshield until they hauled themselves out onto the pavement. a small crowd had begun to drift over to the commotion, and she wasn’t sure if it was because they believed her or if they just wanted a story to tell at dinner.

“what’s got you so hysterical? are ya hurt?”

“not _me_ ,” she groaned in frustration, starting off toward the woods, a dozen or so people hot on her tail. her lungs were already burning by the time they stepped off the trail, and once they busted through the brush onto the bank, she was gasping for air as she wheezed, “ _him!_ ”

there was only a split second of silence before every mouth opened in shock, small murmurs beginning to sound. every man in the group that wore one slipped the hat from their head, placing it against the left breast of their suit jacket or simple work shirt.

“i’ll be damned,” one of the medics breathed, body suddenly catching up with his mind as he fell to the lost soldier. “get back to the truck and grab a stretcher! he’s still got a pulse!” at his command, the other pushed through the crowd and took off toward town.

a bright flash caught her attention, and she finally looked down to the blond to find him stripped of nearly all his clothes, only a strange pair of underwear secured around his hips.

“hey! what’s the matter with you?!” a scuffle broke out between the vendor from before and a man holding a camera securely to his chest. “ain’t ya got any shame?! the man’s fightin’ for his life in just a pair of shorts!”

they continued back and forth, but it all became background noise to her as she searched the immediate area. she was hoping to catch a glint of light, a flash of silver and red, but only trees and rushing water stared back at her. before she knew it, the crowd was parting again to allow the captain to be rushed off.

just as she went to follow after them, a harsh gust of wind blew past, causing her to wrap her arms around herself. the action brought her attention to her bare left hand, little string still wrapped snugly around her finger. foolishly, she headed over to the fallen tree that she used as a bench. the white fabric was nowhere in sight.

a cough behind her startled her enough to elicit a small yelp. the man from before with the camera fidgeted awkwardly. “excuse me, miss,” he started, waving the hunk of metal around as if it weighed nothing. “i’m with the post… got a second to answer some questions?”

they sat atop the log for at least an hour, going over her account of the afternoon until the sky overhead began to darken. she took care to exclude the sergeant from her story, wanting to respect his wishes despite the burning curiosity in her veins.

when the stout man finally seemed satisfied, he stood triumphantly, tucking the camera into the crook of his right arm and offering her his left. “my dear,” he laughed, helping her to her feet. “i believe you’ve lost a glove in all the excitement!”

smiling, she looked down to her hand, then over to the log where it once rested. just as she went to respond, she caught sight of a patch of dirt just a few feet away. within it, the heel of a boot print facing the opposite direction of town. the corners of her lips twitched, heat rising behind her face. “so i have.”

~

finally venturing out into the world, bucky kept to the shadows of the night.

it’d been a full day since he broke the surface of that river. an entire day of nightmares looping behind his eyes, slinking through the streets of an unfamiliar city… trying to make sense of unfamiliar thoughts. he felt as if he was shellshocked on one hand. on the other, a sense of homecoming.

because for as mangled as his mind was, he could still recognize things. had begun to recognize them more clearly since that day on the bridge.

curiosity got the best of him, and he found himself on the other side of a paper stand, staring down the empty walls.

“gotta wait ‘til tomorrow, pal,” the man before him chuckled, “bought me outta everything before it was even light out.”

nodding, bucky started off back toward the small foreclosed home he was sheltering in. the streets were just about dead, everyone more than likely sat around their dinner tables, still hollering over the good news. his stomach grumbled as he turned a corner, a small squeal causing him to tense up.

a rectangle of orange light bathed the street around him, shadows dancing across the sidewalk. when he looked over, he caught sight of a woman chasing after a small child within what appeared to be their dining room. sat around the rich, wooden table, a man spooning mush into a baby’s mouth. happy smiles on each of their faces.

a car door slamming from a few doors down snapped him out of his trance, and he suddenly realized he’d wandered into the street just in front of the lively house.

“hey, buddy!” he heard from his right, causing him to go rigid. “what paper you get?”

confused, bucky turned to the voice and stared at the man in silence. the older seemed to take it as an invitation and began to shuffle over to the brunet.

“ya happen to get the times? i heard they got a picture of him in the hospital! i’ll trade ya the post!”

flashes of black and white were waved between them, words blurring together with the movement. “i, uh… no.”

“got anything? i wanted to read ‘em all before the new ones hit the shelves tomorrow…”

“i didn’t get any. sorry.”

the man’s graying eyebrows lifted in shock, lips falling open dramatically. “nothin’?” glancing around, bucky shrugged, shaking his head. “damn… well, i’m done with this one… give it to ya for a quarter.”

the silver coin was out of his pocket before bucky could even think otherwise, paper clutched between his fingers as he continued back toward his makeshift home. he tucked himself in the corner of the living room under the window, taking advantage of the moonlight as his eyes scanned over the bolded words.

_**“PRESUMED DEAD ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA’ FOUND ALIVE BY RIVER.”**_

the more he read, the tighter he felt his chest getting. pictures of the blond were dotted around the front page, showcasing him bared for the world to see, unconscious and bloodied. there was another one near the bottom of the paper, clearly taken sometime during the war.

flipping the page over, bucky’s eyes zeroed in on a small photograph outlined in a box, caption reading, _‘young hero.’_

the woman from the river stared back at him, soft smile on her painted lips. heart pounding behind his ribs, bucky read through the small paragraphs beneath her. a sigh left his lips when he found no mention of himself. he knew he was running on borrowed time here, especially if somehow others had found themselves lost in days past. it couldn’t have just been the two of them, right?

without reason to hold it back, the paper printed her name proudly, almost as if egging bucky on to find her. maybe return the glove that sat heavily in his pocket…

he didn’t know why he’d taken it to begin with. it just happened. while the red, white, and blue suit sat bunched up in the corner of a worn kitchen counter, the silky fabric had stayed on his person the whole day. when he’d first picked it up, there was a florally scent that clung to it, but now, after sitting in the pocket of his stolen pants for the better part of a day, it took an effort to pull the aroma from the threads of the garment.

eyebrows cinching together at his own actions, bucky took in the final lines of the short article, burning them into his vision.

_“when asked what was in store for her next, she pondered for only a moment before giving an answer that’s sure to please all the fellows out there._

_‘getting hitched! today has been enough excitement for a lifetime… i’m ready to settle down!’”_

~

a horn honking startled her from her daydream, spoon falling into her mug with a clatter. her eyes fell to the street below, where a man had begun to hang from the window of his car, shouting at the vehicle in front of him. the scene brought her back to a few weeks prior. when she herself was getting shouted at on a crowded street.

“will you close that window? the chill is coming straight under the door and into my room.”

craning her neck, she smiled apologetically at the older woman standing in the doorway that connected their rooms. “sorry,” she strained, pulling down the heavy pane with all her might. “was trying to cool my tea down faster.”

“you shouldn’t be drinking this late anyway. house rules.”

“yes, but…” the look the older was sending her way said it all, and she swallowed the argument that had formed on her tongue. “you’re right. i’ll just… get ready for bed then.”

with a roll of her eyes, her neighbor disappeared back into her room, door snapping into place loudly.

huffing to herself, the younger made for the bathroom, going about washing up as quickly and quietly as she could. just as she went to shut the light out, she heard the squeak of her window and popped her head out into the hall. after a moment of complete silence, she padded back into her room, inspecting every corner before rushing to the window. it was still shut, mug sat undisturbed beneath it.

maybe it was just the wind, or perhaps someone else had decided to get some fresh air. she couldn’t be the only rule-breaker in the house. not with the cast of characters that had found shelter within the home. not that she was passing judgement on anyone. she had no room to.

grabbing her tea from the windowsill, she settled into bed and watched the branches of the tree outside dance across the pane. as her limbs grew heavier, she used her last ounce of strength to place the mug safely on her nightstand before completely succumbing to the weight tugging at her.

~

bucky sat still in an old rocking chair tucked against the far wall of the bedroom, eyes completely trained to the way her eyebrows began to twitch. with a final inhale, she began to wake, looking around her environment lazily. it took her a few moments, but she finally processed what she was seeing and sat up quickly, head turning toward him.

expecting a scream, he was surprised when she simply gasped and pressed her back to the headboard. her eyes slid over his form, throat bobbing around a harsh swallow.

standing, bucky padded over to one of the doors in the room, opening it to reveal a bathroom. “get cleaned up and come downstairs.”

without another word, he headed out into the hallway, taking the creaky stairs one at a time to listen out for her movements. it took her until he was in the kitchen to pull herself from the bed. jaw tight, ears zeroing in on her, he tracked the footsteps overhead. the click of a door, a window rattling but refusing to open… then silence for a moment until he heard the toilet flush. 

bucky put his attention back to plating the food in front of him, arranging everything just so on the sparkling porcelain, little flowers framing it all. just as the plates made contact with the small dining table, he heard the bathroom sink shut off, and the gentle patter of feet flooded the hallway.

she peeked her head into the kitchen once she made it down the stairs, spotting the brunet stood behind one of the dining chairs, hands clutching the top of it. he was already looking right at her.

“sit,” he directed.

on shaky legs, she moved over to the chair beside his, lowering herself onto it slowly. her hands twitched in her lap as he did the same, grasping his fork nonchalantly. she could feel his eyes on her, confirming it with a glance in his direction. her cheeks began to feel hot, one hand coming up to cup them.

“i must look awful,” she fretted, overly aware of her bare face and unkempt appearance.

“you look fine. eat.”

not wanting to cause trouble, she did as he said, opting for a piece of toast that seemed amiable enough for her turning stomach. a million thoughts rushed through her head as they ate in silence, bucky occasionally flipping a page of the newspaper sat on the other side of him.

how did he get her here? how did he _find_ her? _why_ did he find her? was he worried she would alert someone of him?

“i didn’t- i kept you to myself…” squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to even her breathing, allowing the words to come to her. “i didn’t mention you. i wasn’t going to either, i swear.”

“i didn’t take you because i thought you were a threat.” his eyes never left the paper as he spoke, and when she looked to it, she saw a picture of captain america smiling widely as he shook hands with some man she didn’t recognize, a medal around his neck. clearing his throat, the brunet closed the paper and looked to her. “i took you because i want what was taken from _me_. a happy home; wife, children, nice house… a future.”

that left her speechless. he expected all of this from _her?_ surely he was mad. what could she possibly offer him? sickened by her own reaction, she felt her chest flutter at the thought anyway.

placing her food back on the plate, she sat up a little straighter, hoping to come across confident. “there’ll be… someone will come looking for me. looking for _you_ …”

“no they won’t. i know you have no family, that’s why you were in that hellhole before i got to you.” the words knocked her down a peg. as true as they were, she didn’t really enjoy having them thrown in her face over breakfast. “and as for me… i’m a dead man.”

his tone was so flat, so devoid of any emotion, she found herself accepting it partially. until a breeze swept through the slightly ajar window across from him and caused the thin paper on top of the table to flutter, flashing the image of the blond soldier. “don’t you think captain-”

she halted her argument when he slammed his metal hand down atop the paper, fist clenched so tightly she could hear a small whirring from the limb.

“no. he’ll think this is a dream. which maybe it is, hell if i know… or that before was a dream.”

“before what? _how_ is this a dream?” slightly annoyed at his ambiguity, she found her voice rising just a fraction, earning a glare from the brunet. her gaze diverted back to her plate, food now lukewarm and even more unappealing. brows furrowing, she sighed, “but he’ll believe you to be dead still! you would let your best friend think that? that’s… cruel.”

a bitter laugh came from his direction. “you don’t even know the meaning of that word.”

it was silent again as he finished eating, forcing her to take small bites of her own food every so often. when both plates were cleared to his satisfaction, he brought them over to the sink and began rinsing them off. the gentle trickle of water drew her attention, and she watched his back as he moved dishes over to a drying rack.

casual slacks sat around his narrow hips, a size or two too big by the looks of them, secured in place with a fine leather belt. following up the curve of his spine, she took in the way his muscular back rippled beneath the thin undershirt he wore tucked into the pants. it left his arms on display, allowing her to really watch the metallic one move.

it was fascinating. never in all her life did she think she’d ever see such a thing. that day at the river she had thought perhaps it was some kind of armor or weapon of sorts, not wanting to believe he was truly controlling it. and while she was certain he could use it as such, the way it tenderly placed each delicate piece of dinnerware onto the rack let her know it was capable of much more. and the scars that peeked out from under the strap of his undershirt revealed that it was, in fact, an extension of his body. moving with him the same as any other limb would.

when he turned back to her, she suddenly realized she’d begun to breathe heavily, thighs pressed tightly against one another under the table.

he approached her with the same stoic face he always seemed to sport. “come on,” he ordered, offering out his flesh hand. she took it timidly, following beside him into the living room just across the foyer. the house was lovely if a little small. completely filled with comfortable furniture that appeared to be well used. and if she looked closely, she could see faint outlines on the walls signifying something had been hanging there. most likely pictures. as if someone had just recently moved out.

leaving her in the middle of the room, bucky crossed to the stereo, carefully placing the needle onto the thick vinyl disc. a few pops of static sounded before light jazzy notes filled the air. when he faced her again, she was watching him curiously, the beginnings of a confused smile playing at the corners of her lips.

even in his dreams he hadn’t imagined it going this well.

with care, he took her left hand into his right, wrapping his left arm around her waist. she hesitated for a moment until he set his jaw. looking away, she placed her right hand onto the battered flesh of his shoulder, pinky just grazing the cold metal. as a woman’s voice finally drifted from the speaker, bucky began guiding them in languid circles, gaze never wavering from her face.

“this is how each day will go,” he began, taking a moment to twirl her around. when she returned to his chest, he continued, “we’ll wake and cook breakfast together. i’ll read my paper while we eat, but i’d also like for you to speak with me. i need you to, actually. i’d prefer for you to do the dishes after, but i’m not against helping you with chores.”

“how admirable,” she mumbled, trying not to completely crumble at his words. a gasp left her when he used his unnatural strength to press her into him, almost impossibly so.

“shut up and listen. this next part is important.” with a gulp, she nodded, trying to keep her feet from colliding with his. “after breakfast, i’d like to relax in here. some days we’ll enjoy music, like we are now. but other times i’ll need to listen to a broadcast or two.” the way his body stiffened let her know something was coming, and she braced. “then…”

a yelp sounded from her as he bent her back, one leg flailing into the air at the sudden movement. his eyes bore into hers, her fingers clutching onto him so tightly his skin began to turn white under her hold.

“i’ll have you.”

the admission left her dumbfounded as he straightened them back up, continuing to rock them back and forth easily. she felt his hand snake its way up her back until it cradled her head, applying just enough pressure to force her cheek onto his chest.

“not just yet, though. not like that. i need to sort my head out better before the kids come.”

she could feel the words rumbling behind his hard muscle and wondered if he could hear her heart beating erratically. surely he must at least feel it thrumming against his own body.

as the silence began to grow thicker, she squeaked out, “th-then how?”

bucky stilled them, pulling apart slowly. when she finally mustered the courage to look up at him, his eyes were nearly blacked out and piercing into hers. continuing to hold her gaze, he reached over to pluck a throw pillow from the loveseat, dropping it onto the floor between them.

“get on your knees.”

the command sent a chill through her. there wasn’t a hope in hell of getting out of this. even without the mechanical aid, he could overpower her in the blink of an eye. so she simply swallowed thickly and did as he instructed. the fabric of the pillow dug into her knees, but she supposed it was better than the carpet. looking up at him was a mistake.

bucky’s nostrils flared as he stared down at her, eyes wide and swarmed with naiveté. “don’t act stupid. undo my belt.”

she kept her eyes fixed to his as she brought her hands up, too nervous to look down at what she was doing and see the way she trembled. or worse, what was waiting beneath the zipper.

the belt fell off to either side of his trousers, hanging limply against his thighs. when she made no effort to continue, he gripped her wrist in his hand, forcing her palm against the strained cotton. “i said not to act stupid.”

she could almost feel her bones grinding under the force of his grasp, a relieved sigh falling from her lips when he released her. trying to delay the inevitable didn’t do her any good it seemed, so she bit the bullet and quickly undid the button and zipper. the loose slacks dropped like lead around his ankles, belt clattering as she finally looked to the sight before her.

even through the cotton of his shorts, she could see the impressive outline of him, a wet patch just beside his hip causing the fabric to turn nearly transparent. on their own, her knees squeezed together and her tongue poked out to wet her lips.

urged on by her own want, she peeled the waistband down, jerking her head back when his cock popped free and slapped against her cheek. she could have sworn she heard a whimper from the soldier, but her mind had completely gone numb. the contact had left a wetness along her cheekbone, short string connecting her face to his member before snapping out of existence when a thick glob of a clear substance leaked out of him.

only a small bit of the tip peeked out from its encasing, practically glowing red before her. an eager hand left the elastic of his shorts, reaching up to wrap around the smooth appendage. a slow drag of her fingers pulled the thin skin down enough to completely expose the bulbous head. this time she was _positive_ she heard him whimper. it was a choked sound, getting trapped at the back of his throat like he was almost in pain.

“i’m sorry,” she squeaked, recoiling her arm.

“ _don’t_ ,” he croaked, “you’re perfect. need your mouth…”

their eyes met again as she nodded shyly, inching forward with her hand back around him. even just the sight of her waiting mouth creeping toward his desperate head had him panting like an animal. once her tongue met his throbbing skin, he cried out, both hands planting themselves on either side of her head. he could feel the heat beneath her cheeks growing, lips agonizingly closing in on his tip.

the full weight of it settled onto her tongue, that gel-like substance instantly attacking her tastebuds. it was faintly salty, but more pleasant than anything… _intoxicating_.

she hadn’t realized she’d shut her eyes and let out a soft moan until gears ground beside her head, silver fingers digging into her jaw painfully. they guided her further down his length until the press of him at the back of her throat caused the muscles to constrict, a gag sounding around him.

that broke something in him.

in the blink of an eye, he was pulling back from her, forcing her to look back to him in confusion before the entirety of his cock was shoved back into her mouth. burning in her throat shot up through her head, settling behind her eyes, bringing tears forward. her hands held onto his shorts for dear life, the cotton a last lifeline to ground her to earth as the soldier picked up his speed exponentially. the way his hands held onto her face had her knees lifting off the pillow with every odd thrust.

bucky lost himself within the walls of her mouth, decades of pent-up frustration pooling through him, centering at his drilling hips. it drove him mad listening to her choke around him, helpless but to simply take it. and she seemed almost… _willing_ to do so. as if she could sense the lifetime of control he was trying to take back with a simple release.

an overwhelmingly harsh thrust caused her to gag so forcefully she worried she’d lose her breakfast for a moment. it cleared the fog of lust from her mind, fingers detaching from his shorts to dig into the meat of his thighs. a sharp hiss sounded from him, and at the slightest sign of his hands releasing her head, she scrambled away from him.

her wobbly knees and shaking hands only allowed her to crawl clumsily to the doorway before the sharp sting of metal dug into the back of her neck, closing off her airway for the briefest second.

“i’m sorry,” he heaved, forcing her mouth back onto him. not missing a beat, he resumed his pace, allowing her to fist her hands into his undershirt so tightly the thin fabric ripped audibly. “i won’t always be like this… i just…” his words trailed off as he groaned through his teeth, releasing her neck to grab onto the wooden frame of the archway they were under. “ _i need it._ i need this, need _you_.”

tears rushed down her heated cheeks, some of them making it onto her neck to blend into the mess of spit that clung to her skin. _it had to end_ , she told herself, holding out for that moment when he’d finally ease up.

cracking above her head caused her to look up, eyes struggling to stay open or focus on anything from the way he rocked her skull. through her blurry, tear-stained vision, she watched his metallic fingers pierce through the thick wood in his grasp, ripping fragments of it clear off.

a strained, broken shout left his chest as she felt something shoot down her throat, flesh fingers holding onto the back of her head to keep her in place. her nose squished against the thick hair at the base of him, no air entering or leaving her lungs as she froze. he continued to groan and pant over her until he was nearly drained.

sighing, he pulled from her mouth, a wet gag sounding from her throat before she took in a huge gulp of air. letting go of her head to wrap his fingers around his cock, bucky pumped a few final times to get the last drops out. they dripped onto her tongue heavily, getting whisked away when she clamped her mouth shut to swallow hotly.

mind clearing, bucky watched her try to catch her breath, collar of her night shirt stained from the excess of spit and tears he forced her to produce. the guilt began to set in, causing him to stumble back a step. the wood groaned under his weight, and he looked up to see the damage he’d wreaked on the frame.

she mimicked his movement, back pressing into the opposite side of the archway, lungs still burning with the exertion of trying to make up for lost air. faintly in the background, she heard the telltale whir of the needle falling off the record, bathing them in silence.

bucky’s hands moved slowly as he pulled the elastic of his shorts back up, settling them around his hips. “go get cleaned up.”

at his words, she felt fresh tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. with every ounce of strength she had left, she force herself to her feet, hands pawing at the frame behind her for leverage. stumbling, she made it back up the stairs and into the room she’d woken up in. the door slammed behind her, the bathroom door doing the same.

she wasn’t sure how long she spent under the hot stream of water, processing what exactly had just happened. more importantly, why she still felt so warm all over from it. why her center fluttered each time she felt the burn as she swallowed.

a fresh pile of clothes was waiting for her when she emerged from the bathroom. they were _her_ clothes, and the sight caused her to sigh.

this was really happening.

making her way back downstairs, she searched through the house until she spotted a hunched form out on the porch. glancing around, she took in the open yard, trees surrounding all sides of them.

bucky sat on a small wooden chair tucked into the corner, head in his hands. the sight brought her a minuscule amount of satisfaction.

he looked to her when she sat herself in the seat opposite him. she could tell from the look in his eyes that he harbored at least some remorse, some concern for her.

sighing, she turned back to the trees just ahead, watching as they swayed back and forth in the slight breeze. “i want a wedding,” she started, looking to bucky again to make sure he was paying full attention. “i want a dress and a cake, and i wanna hear bells chiming when i walk down the aisle to you.”

bucky flinched at the rough, scratchy sound to her voice, that gnawing feeling starting back up in his stomach. with only a moment’s hesitation, he swallowed, “okay.”


End file.
